Thoughts from a new (again) mother

It has been a busy few weeks. We have been taking every chance we can to get to know our newest family member, whom for now we will call Munchkin. Her nickname may change soon, as we get to know her better.

When there is so much emotion entangled in an event, I struggle to write about it. Hence the photo log of her first few weeks. We have taken many pictures.

I had started to think I should just be happy with the two boys I had been given and stopped hoping for a third child when I found out I was pregnant with her. We were pessimistic at the beginning, given our track record, but then we heard the heartbeat. Then each week that passed made it seem more likely that she was coming. We worked to prepare for her and now she is here and she is a joy and a blessing.

Both big brothers are always asking to hold her and asking how they can help. They are wonderful children. It hasn't been easy, I have forgotten how tough women are in working to give birth, to nurse a baby, to lose sleep at night for our babies. I have experienced for the first time mastitis, possibly thrush, and an allergic reaction to medicine as well these past few weeks. Fixitman has had a lot on his plate. Thankfully my mom was able to come and help for a week. We have good supportive friends as well.

Listening and remembering to be a gentle listener has been a challenge. Being aware of the needs of my own body, my new baby, my family, my dog. Listening to promptings and quiet voices that can easily be missed.

Even in the challenges, there is so much joy to find. Babies exude joy and happiness. So do my children. It has been a joyful time, though I am glad they don't stay newborns for very long.

Snapshot Sunday

Visit this post at The Napping House to read about Snapshot Sunday or to play.

Baby's 3rd week

One photo a day (almost)

Day 14 was not photographed. I don't know why I forgot, though I was experiencing an allergic reaction (hives) to medicine that day.

Week 2 on Earth

One photo a day

(Where I begged Fixitman to take a photo right before he collapsed into bed next to me, the pathetic one. Mastitis is not fun.)

First week of life

One Photo a Day

All 3 munchkins

Dressed to Impress

What could be cuter than matching boys?

Dinoguy adds a jacket and tie for a more formal look.

Tiny houses...

DH snapped some cute pictures of the boys playing with their little lincoln logs this past weekend.

Carefully...
Ack! Will a baby Godzilla smash the house?Dinoguy joins the fun.

Word of the year: Listen

For 2009, my word is listen. I had many good word candidates but listen was the one that jumped out the most and said "Ponder me!" the loudest.

As we start 2009, my life is still full of uncertainty and change. While these things are constants in life, I think that the uncertainty of job futures and the addition of a dear new soul in our family constitute big changes and uncertainties. One blog I was reading had someone else pondering how to handle the change and her word was detach. I found it fascinating to ponder and think about her word, but it wasn't the word for me. I pulled up the list of good possible words and started making notes.

Adaptable, Willingness, Acceptance, Courage, Confidence, Release, Patience, Grace, Expansion, Peace, Savor...Listen.

Like a light going on, I knew it was my word. I wasn't sure why yet, but as I thought about it, things made sense. It is easy to ignore the things our bodies and spirits tell us. The inner voice can be crowded out of our sphere of conscious listening so easily and I have thought several times in the past few months that I wish I was better at listening and attending to those things. Sometimes I hear them and still ignore them and look back and wish I hadn't.

Additionally, there are my children. It is too easy to only half listen to them, to go on auto pilot sometimes in meeting basic needs of nourishment and love. Which is why savor appealed to me. But I think really listening to them is also a big part of it. I will make a point of giving them my attention and really listening to them as they communicate with me.

I really think that applies to our interactions with all people. It is too easy to be on auto-pilot and not really listen to what they are saying with their actions and words. So instead of reacting to what I hear at first, I will try to more actively listen to what they are saying.

Listening this year will involve more pondering and meditating within the sphere of my religious beliefs. It is a valuable practice to be able to sit in the quiet and listen. I love to do so outside on my patio and really listen. I hope to do so more often this year and learn from it.

It will be a year of listening for me. What will your word be?

End of year reflections on Gentle

Instead of making traditional resolutions last year, I chose to focus on a word, and my word was Gentle. I didn't blog about my word as much as I intended to; procrastination in taking a picture of the Gentle drive sign near my house may have contributed to that. However, the word was always there and I was contemplating, thinking and musing about it.

I don't think I am done with the word Gentle - it is such a lovely idea and word that hopefully one day an adjective that describes me is gentle - I'm not there yet. But I have learned a lot this year about gentle.

Being gentle involves love. Love for fellow creatures and beings and remembering that love in all situations, even those that may irk us. It involves allowing imperfections in ourselves and others and not thinking or treating people as less for those imperfections. Gentle is compassionate and slow to anger. Gentle is recognizing our own limits (or those of others) and accepting them with grace, even when we feel thwarted. Gentle is apologizing to children or animals for mistakes and outbursts to repair the relationship. Gentle is providing hugs and acceptance even as an individual lashes out at you or throws a tantrum.

There have been lessons in gentle from my children, my husband, my dog. From strangers and friends and just in my own reflections on situations. It has been a good year to practice gentleness. I will continue to try and be gentle always.