FHE - Faith and doubt

My sweetie and I

The next Family Home Evening was my turn. Instead of spending Sunday afternoon preparing it, I spent time reading other things about gospel topics I wanted to learn more about. This means Monday afternoon I still had a lesson to prepare in addition to dinner to finish. While I had visions of a really great FHE lesson, I decided that simple was all I was going to get this time.

So when I sat down with the list of talks available, I was silently praying for guidance and inspiration on which talk to discuss this week. The one that seemed to stick out to me was Dieter Uchtdorf's talk "Come, Join With Us". There are several wonderful messages in this talk, but the one I wanted to focus on was the concept of having doubts and what we can do when we have them. 

There are things going on in the world that can cause people to question their faith in God or their belief in their church. I have had doubts about things related to my church at several times in my life.

"I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes."

That beautiful quote reminds me that we need to allow others grace. It's also acknowledgement that our wonderful leaders did not get called to their positions because they had somehow become perfected in this life. They are still human and still make mistakes.

As a mother, I hope to help my children develop their own testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am doing everything I know how to do to teach them about Jesus and his message of Peace, Love and Forgiveness. I believe that the LDS church has the most correct teachings and have chosen it for my life path. But I walk by faith. And sometimes I have doubts.

"One of the purposes of the Church is to nurture and cultivate the seed of faith—even in the sometimes sandy soil of doubt and uncertainty. Faith is to hope for things which are not seen but which are true."

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters—my dear friends—please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ."

I am also a deeply imperfect being with many faults. I make mistakes so often! For example, I apologize to my kids fairly regularly for losing my temper and yelling. I hope they see me making progress and that I yell less often than I did a few years ago. If not, I hope they at least remember my example of apologizing, attempting to make amends and admitting completely that it is my own weakness and fault. In truth, I'm a hypocrite in many things.

"If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

So when I gave this lesson, I opened by sharing with my kids that both Mom and Dad have had doubts sometimes about things we believe. That we've wondered about things and whether or not they were really true. I discussed the fact that church leaders are not perfect people, and never have been, and with Fixitman's help, we discussed the imperfect examples of prophets and leaders chosen by God, including David, Jonah, and Peter from the Bible. We also discussed President Monson sharing the story of setting fire to a mountain as a youth and how he made that mistake. I explained that all our leaders are human and humans make mistakes but this does not change the truthfulness of the gospel. I shared the quotes listed above.

This went fairly well, the three older were listening and my three year old was relatively quiet. So then I told them I would tell them what to do when you are having doubts and are confused as to what you believe. I told them what I do. I go back to the basics that I really believe I know. (This came from Elder Jeffrey Holland last conference!) I start with what I know I have a testimony of and I build from there. I hold on to the little bit that I feel sure about and wait for further knowledge.

"Hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes." - Elder Jeffrey Holland

I told my kids that sometimes I have received answers quickly to my prayers for understanding related to doubts. Other times I have waited years. Other questions I am not sure will be answered in this lifetime. But I choose to continue to have faith that one day, they will be answered.

I ended by sharing my testimony and afterward we played a game of Set and had some cookies.

Here is my testimony. It's simple but it's mine. I believe that Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer and that He willingly gave up his life and atoned for my sins. I believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. I believe that Joseph Smith was called by God to translate that sacred book and bring it into the world. I believe that the LDS church is led today by a prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I believe I am a daughter of my Heavenly Parents, a literal spirit child of God. I believe my Heavenly Parents are kind, loving, benevolent beings who care very much about me. I believe that our spirits are eternal and that there is life after this one. These beliefs have come to me because of many personal experiences and many hours of personal study.

I'll end with an invitation from myself and Dieter. He says very eloquently: "if you seek the pure doctrine of Christ, the word of God “which healeth the wounded soul,” and the sanctifying influence of the Holy Ghost, then here [the LDS church] you will find them. In this age of waning faith—in this age when so many feel distanced from heaven’s embrace—here you will find a people who yearn to know and draw closer to their Savior by serving God and fellowmen, just like you. Come, join with us!" If you are wondering if you have faith in anything; if you are looking for truth, let's talk. I'll send you a Book of Mormon to read, for free, if you want. I believe the gospel of Jesus Christ can bring peace and happiness into everyone's life and I would share this joy freely with you. 

April 2013 Activities

April 2013 was a busy month. We started off with a preschool field trip to a local bakery where the kids get to see the kitchen, freezer, giant stone oven... eat a fresh cookie and then make their own custom bread!

Here are the cuties!

These two were excited to attend also, though they were older than the others. Food inspires them.

We are frequent visitors of the library, here are three of them reading. I just love that Little Guy has learned how to "read" and act at the library and we're past the shelf clearing stage.

We did still life drawings for art this month, trying to focus on learning to draw objects behind other objects as well as details.                                Here is Dinoguy's drawing.

Here is Trainboy's drawing.

Here is Princess' drawing. She loves art!

                                      And here is Little Guy showing off his drawing.

Princess was given a butterfly kit for her birthday in December. We ordered the larvae and they were delivered at the end of March. She really enjoyed watching them grow from tiny larvae to large caterpillars in their jar and then they made chrysalis and we transferred them to the mesh observation cage. After watching them hatch and feeding them for several days, the weather was warm and it was time to let them go free.

She really liked watching them, it was fascinating to see their tongues unroll and roll up.

However, she would NOT hold them! Here is Trainboy holding one to give her, she says NO!

Here is Trainboy observing them. He really liked holding them!

Now Mom holds one close to her, but she still does not want to hold it herself.

General Conference came at the beginning of April and we had fun watching it and coloring pictures/taking notes.

Chocolate waffles with whipped cream and strawberries! Happy Conference breakfast!

We discovered these eggs inside a pocket of the jogging stroller I hadn't zipped up. I carefully transferred the nest to a gardening pot and we watched and waited. We never saw a mama bird and the eggs never hatched. I think they were laid too early in the spring and a cold spell had doomed them.

Princess lost her bathing suit last fall at the pool so we needed a new one. She chose this one out of the catalog and was very excited when it arrived. (Mom was happy because it was very discounted and affordable!)

We celebrated Mom & Dad's birthdays, here I am with the presents the kids chose for me.

And here is Fixitman with his cake.

                                         Here is Little Guy helping blow out the candles.

My sister came to visit after her semester ended. The kids LOVED playing with their aunt! They showered her with affection.Here she is experiencing three hugs at once with a fight.

We visited the local museum that had an interactive DNA exhibit that was quite fun. The kids didn't want to leave!

We took Auntie to the beach of course!

I found this fly swatter gun at the dollar store and it reminded me of one from my childhood. Little Guy thought it was the best toy ever.

Playing at the park with Auntie before she flew home.

Sisters

Well there is a whirlwind tour of highlights from April 2013 here! Hope you had a fabulous April also.

General Conference April 2010

I didn't sit and take notes this conference. I cleaned and organized and cooked and crocheted while listening. I felt like the most mentioned topic was that of mothers/parents. Elder Perry's talk about his mother, Elder Ballard's talk to the mothers & daughters, Elder Bednar's talk about an early spiritual warning system for parents. Sister Beck's talk about Relief Society supporting women and helping them be better mothers. Those come to mind because I've re-listened to them since this weekend. I am enjoying listening to the talks each morning again as I make breakfast. The messages of conference are food for the soul. They fill me with peace.

We played "Conference Jeopardy" for FHE on Monday and it surprised me (a little) how much the boys had listened too, while they played and colored. I should know that by now since they move about while I read to them all the time anyway, but it was a good reminder that movement allows them to listen BETTER. Since I feel the same way (have to be doing something with my hands or else I have a hard time focusing) you would think it would be easier to remember. But I need reminders. So the fun we had with the Jeopardy game was good.

General Conference thoughts

I love listening to general conference. I was thrilled when Fixitman made it so we could have the internet stream on our TV this time, since we don't have cable anymore. I try to purposely stay home and have nothing else going so I can listen to all four sessions. A side benefit to this is a whole weekend where we are all in the house together enjoying each other with no outside distractions.

I encourage the boys to listen to the talks but allow them to be kids. Dinoguy enjoyed playing the matching games at the Friend magazine website during the sessions and I used the printable conference notebook for my notes. We draw pictures, take notes, work on crafty projects, cook and bake together, all while enjoying the inspired counsel from the prophet and other leaders.

While April's conference seemed to be about surviving the hard economic times and recognizing the lessons in adversity, to me this conference had more about doing the small and simple things that are necessary to maintain our spiritual health. I certainly heard my word for the year, Listen, often. I look forward to studying the talks more in the next 6 months until next conference.

My notes/highlights from talks:

Prophet Monson: There is no regret in being too kind.
President Eyring: We can have peace and assurance of knowing we are on the Lord's path for us.
President Uchtdorf: Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ. Listen for the Lord's voice in everything.
President Packer: Learn from the spirit, stay close and it will protect you. Learn to pray and pray often in your mind and heart, but conclude with "thy will be done".
Elder Perry: Learn lessons from the past way of viewing the future and listen to the spirit for individual guidance.
Elder Nelson: Prayer is more amazing than phone technology. Be prepared by being obedient to commandments.
Elder Oaks: Explanation of Gods love versus divine law. Gods laws will not change for anyone. Gods love will not excuse us from following his laws. Listen. Can feel Gods love anytime. Model our parenting like that of God.
Elder Ballard: (did not speak to my knowledge)
Elder Scott: Write down impressions of the spirit and listen to feelings of peace. Practice hearing and it will become easier. Strong emotions overcome delicate communication of the spirit. Pray with the fervor of your soul, in humility and gratitude.
Elder Hales: Don't constrain the spirit. Develop a testimony and belief in God and it will bless family, posterity and friends. Knowledge of God gives purpose to life.
Elder Holland: Bore strong testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. Discussed martyrdom of Joseph & Hiram Smith. Allegory of Lehi's dream. Mists of darkness make an already difficult journey harder. Successful traveler resist ALL distractions. There is happiness and hope for the faithful in the travail of the last days.
Elder Bednar: Become more diligent and concerned at home. Express love and show it! Bear testimony and live it! Be consistent.
Elder Cook: We have stewardships for selves, families and for poor and needy. Teach children to be accountable for time and talents. Important to fill home with gospel learning. Follow counsel of the prophet to serve those in need.
Elder Christofferson: Have moral discipline to choose the right, and reject the self absorbed life in favor of developing a life worthy of respect. Laws and police enforcement cannot replace customs & morality. There can never be enough rules and will limit freedoms of all. Internal moral compasses must be established. Constantly teaching mostly by example. Have standards like stripling warriors.
Elder Anderson: Come unto the Savior and be spiritually wrapped in his arms. His arms are open and extended. Repentance always means greater happiness is ahead.
Sister Matsumori: Spirit only dwells in clean temples. Let virtue garnish thoughts unceasingly. Pray, read scriptures and invite Spirit into our homes. Make time for still and quiet each day and listen to give the still small voice an opportunity to talk to us.
Brother Clayton: Burdens can be consequences of natural conditions, results of others deeds or from our own sins. Burdens bring blessings, though it takes time and prayer to understand. Adversity is a small moment. It invites us to yield to the Holy Spirit, to be perfected and grow. Examples: work, poverty, war.
Brother Oglethorpe: Inspired teachers save spiritual lives. Draw upon the spirit to be effective teacher. 3 points from Elder Bednar: Key doctrin, Invitation to action & promised blessings. Goal of gospel teaching is not to pour info in but to think about, feel about and do something about knowledge gained. Aim High. Rely on the Lord and he'll help us do the impossible. Learn truth and then teach it, following example of the prophet Joseph Smith.
Brother Olsen: Prayers given 32 years previously while he was a missionary in Finland that seemed impossible will fulfilled. His son was missionary in city he was praying for while he was a missionary.
Bishop Burton: Teach the -ity virtues. Parents, remain steadfast in raising kids in righteousness.
Sister Dibb: Use the safety equipment! Pray, Read scriptures, Listen to the prophets and the Holy Ghost.
Brother Ringwood: Bring up children in light and truth. The easiness and willingness to listen to the word of God comes into our lives by doing the small things like prayer and scripture study.
Brother Sitati: Blessings of the temples in Africa to people there.
Brother Zeballos: God requires our best but not more than that. Do our part. Remember our covenants.
Brother Callister: Peter the apostle had weaknesses, but was a great man. Joseph Smith is similar. We gained 4 important truths from the first vision. God and Jesus Christ are separate beings. God and Jesus Christ ahave glorified bodies of flesh and bones. The Heavens are not closed. Lastly, the Full and Complete Church of God was not on the earth at the time of the vision.
Brother Watson: Security is found in self control and being temperate. Happiness is in diligence. Be patient in affliction. Be kind even when others are unkind.
Brother Renland: Heart transplants compared with the mighty change of heart brought by the spirit. Heart transplant patients must take rejection medication and have regular biopsies, but many become casual and figure if they feel fine, they must be fine. Similarly, the ultimate operation of a mighty change of heart requires great care because the tendency of the natural man is to reject the spiritually changed heart. Read questions in Alma 5 as a biopsy. It is a spiritual death trap to become casual with our prayers and scripture study. Be eager to please God and worship him with fervor and passion.

In-Sync Exotics tour

This cougar was fascinated by Trainboy.

We got a discounted rate to visit an exotic cats sanctuary in the area as part of our Rethinking Education Conference and went on Monday. It was pretty neat. Photos don't really do the cats justice or the enclosures.

These are cats who were being kept as pets!?! or being ill treated in small circuses or other bad situations. They find a home here to live out their lives. Apparently there are so many of them that they can't take them all. They are pampered and well taken care of at this facility by the volunteers and owner.

The boys loved seeing the animals and we had an awesome tour and good discussions from it. We also practiced skip counting on the drive there and back, Trainboy is working on counting to 100 and learning those patterns while Dinoguy is more interested in millions, billions and trillions.

Fun at the Rethinking Education Conference

Trainboy making a pine needle basket

We had a very busy weekend! We attended the Rethinking Education conference, went to Home Depot for the monthly project, and had a visit from Grandpa Actuary! Being busy makes me so tired, but is so much fun!

Trainboy at the toy creation station

The conference was four days long and consisted of a bunch of unschoolers taking over a hotel and turning boring conference rooms into cool places to play, including the board game room, video game room, dress-up room, box & tin can city room, music room, meditation room, junkyard golf room, race car room, and (little) kids village. There were also tables set up in the hall way with tons of legos and rotating loose craft themes such as take apart electronics, stupid sock creatures, toy creation, rock painting, flying machine making, mask decoration and more. That's just the fun stuff running all the time in addition to the classes, demonstrations & seminars.Dinoguy learns to fence in the mini-class after the demonstration

I wasn't really sure what to expect beforehand, this being our first unschooling conference. In fact I was a bit nervous about if the kids would have fun or if they were too young. Both boys thrived all weekend as they explored new interests and let their creative juices flow freely. Kids village was definitely a fun place to hang out and play, but they also enjoyed many of the other activities and crafts available.Dinoguy demonstrates his skills with the slide and mat in kids village

The atmosphere at the conference was amazing. There was an energy present, coming from kids and parents who let their interests guide them and expected interactions with all to have a basis in respect. We had some friends there from local groups we are part of, but I also met and talked with so many new and interesting people. The realization that kids were welcome everywhere - even those sessions meant more for adults was so cool. Trainboy came with me to part of a pine cone needle basket making class and made his own version of one. Parents and kids went in and out of classes as family needs required (though most kids were busy with their interests and weren't around, it was okay if they were).

Trainboy at the lego table

Classes I attended and loved included pine needle basket making, nourishing kids' passions, belly dancing, the brain-heart connection, raising a strong child, fencing history and demonstration (with mini-classes for kids), power of positive thinking in parenting...hmmm, that's all the classes I managed to get to I think! It was just a wonderful time!

Dinoguy building a football goal post at Home Depot

We did not stay at the hotel, which I think was better for us, as we came home at night and relaxed and slept in our own beds. We also went to Home Depot's craft day, one of our favorite free things each month!Trainboy building at Home Depot

Grandpa Actuary got into town late night Saturday for a visit before some work stuff that conveniently brought him our way. We had a really fun visit with him, playing Spongebob Monopoly and hide-n-seek as drawing special pictures for him. He checked out the conference a bit with us too, though we mostly hung out at home with him on Sunday, which was nice. It was great to see you Dad!

The boys with Grandpa Actuary