Discrimination

Today we went to the pool as part of a playgroup thing our church does. I'm trying to make new friends. I'm really trying here! I am talking and meeting ladies, though none of them have seemed to be new BFF yet. You never know when you will find a wonderful friend. I'm still looking for one here.

Well, this post is about how L tried to play with some little boys his age at the pool and the bully said: "We can't play with you. You don't go to our church." (Which we do, case in point, we were there.) Excuse me? What? My mama bear instincts kicked in, but all I could do by the time I got there was to hug my son and try to find something else for him to do. Well, I spent the next little bit trying to figure out how to deal with it, because other moms hadn't noticed or done anything and I did not like what had happened. I did not like it, no not one little bit.

And then it happened again apparently when I was out of the pool having a snack. This time, L came up to me about to cry: "Mama, those boys won't let me play with them." Grrr... Why are kids mean sometimes??? I managed to behave though and nicely talked to the kids about how we had just moved into the area, were new at church and had left all of our friends behind in Utah. How L didn't have any friends and would like to try to make new ones. I think I did pretty good, considering. The bully said "I have plenty of friends, I don't need any more." Grrr. I responded that maybe it would be nice to find a way for him to have some friends and be included in their games and he found another kid who was playing by himself and told my son and him to play together. They were both happy about that arrangement it seemed, so I went back to tending H, who just wanted to fill up a bucket and dump it out.

Of course, I watched kids twice grab things out of H's hands and run off with them. Grrr. Again, where were their parents, and what are they teaching their kids? They weren't things that belonged to the other kids, they weren't things that they had been playing with previously. Why? When it was time to go and we were about to leave, the bully ran up and said: "L! We didn't recognize you with your goggles on!" Well, at least that was an attempt at an apology. I told them we were getting ready to leave but could play another time. Arrgh.

I was seeing RED y'all. I had been ready to storm out of the pool area, dragging my kids behind and never go to church again. I was ready to find that kids mom, whom I never did figure out who she was, (lucky for her) and yell at her until she begged forgiveness for having such a child. I had a lot of angry thoughts. It wasn't really the best mood to be in for trying to make friends, but COME ON! Who teaches their child that they only play with kids from church that they know?

On the car ride home, I attempted to turn it into a discussion of what we could do to be friendly to all and not be like the bully. L pretty much understood and it was a decent conversation about being friends to all kids and expressing our feelings and thinking about the feelings of others.

It made me think about what some people must feel in Utah where most everyone belongs to the same church and ends up hanging out together, though usually I think it is unintentionally. I don't have tons of experience there since I lived in student land, but I'm sure it isn't any more pleasant than my experience was today.