Thursday, May 31, 2007

Packing Packing

With less than 3 weeks until our move, I am a bit stressed/impatient to get everything ready. So we have been focused on packing for the past two days. This means the boys have watched a lot of movies. It also means I am tired of packing right now but have gotten my dear husband into a packing groove and he is not ready to stop!

I have gotten my new copy of Live Free Learn Free this week and have been enjoying the articles immensely.

I took a book quiz online that says I am "Anne of Green Gables". I quote: "Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash, honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters. You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it."

Well, sounds good. The quiz is can be found at Book Quiz and is only 6 questions long. Pretty nifty.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Memorial Day

Memorial Day was yesterday. We spent most of it at cemeteries in Idaho visiting family graves. It was a nice way to spend memorial day, the number of people leaving flowers for family members at the cemetery was wonderful to see. Some were also heartbreaking - those leaving flowers for children and babies. People were cleaning up their family graves, decorating them, talking and praying with them, leaving memorials. I really recommend Find A Grave by the way. Here is David L. Duff's memorial.

Today was my due date. I had two miscarriages last fall, one due on Easter and the other due today. The losses of those pregnancies was really hard. It has changed me, as adversity does. I hope that I have become a better person and learned more compassion for others and patience from my own losses. I hope that I am more understanding and loving to others, realizing that I personally do not know what kind of trials they are dealing with. I did write a poem last fall that I want to share here now. Normally I don't talk about these things and yet I think that it is healing to talk about them and that they should be talked about a little more, so others also know they aren't alone in the loss. I am so grateful to friends who were kind and supportive to me then. Here is the poem:

Everybody says it'll be okay
and I just smile and nod
I'm screaming on the inside though
They say I'll get you back
and next time things will work
out It just Wasn't the right
time. I stare and wonder
how could they tell me
that? I've lost a baby
not a job or phone.
You can't replace
a person's soul.

I have to believe you are in heaven
now I have to think you only
needed a short time to live
And though I never held you
in my arms alive you
lived inside me and you're mine
I know some people think I'm
crazy now because to me you
were a child. But you
were my baby and my hopes
and dreams as soon as I
saw the two pink lines.

I don't know why you had
to leave so soon. I know I
would have been a loving mom
Anything that made you
different would not have changed
a thing. Please - I can't believe
you're gone.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Planning a move

Planning a move is tricky. Tuesday was panic attack day, which I figured out was because I want everything to be PERFECT. Oops! I had caught the perfection disease. Doh!

I love making lists of things that need to be done, I don't love doing those things. We have picked a move method: ABF U-Pack.which I'm excited about. I have started the long list of address changes, utility start/stops, and I packed some books. I've made the very long list of other things that need to be done before we move, and I've found plenty of new things to procrastinate with, e.g. GoodReads , a fun website for sharing and planning books to read.

My roses are in full bloom right now and smell wonderful. Our front yard is so lovely in the spring/summer, I will miss it. The big large shady trees, the roses and other pretty flowers... It is nice to sit out and read while the kids play. I wish it was a backyard to some degree, but our backyard is small and not nearly as picturesque. Our new home in Texas will not have any large shade trees to my knowledge, and that is a sad thing. I love trees.

We are planning to finally get a dog this fall! I am hoping to rescue a Vizsla, a wonderful type of dog full of energy. We had a wonderful mutt growing up that was part Vizsla, and my parents have a purebred now. They are gorgeous dogs.


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